27 October 2008

Going Postal

My freshman year, I decided it would be a good prank to sign my friends up for unsolicited catalogs.

When I got home from my mission, a friend of mine needed a way to get back at a boy who had been treating her badly, so I got on the web with her and signed the boy up for O, The Oprah Magazine. To avoid any complications with billing, we clicked the "bill me later" option on the order.

He (who happened to be my EQP) got the magazine and the bill and revenge was sweet.

Recently, my friend Dede and I have been having a little war of our own. It started with some innocent e-mail spam attacks, which eventually led to full-blown mailbox war.

I think Dede was inspired by this story (the part about Jenny the Asian and my balding cranium). Whatever her inspiration, she couldn't resist signing me up to receive some information, via e-mail and real mail, from both The Hair Club and Bosley.

That naturally led to a counterattack. I got online, did a little searching, and found Catalogs.com.

After that, it was really very simple. I verified Dede's address with a friend of mine who lives above her and then signed her up for at least five catalogs. So far she has received one from Fabulous Furs.

This may have led to a retaliation from Dede. She denies it, but last week I received the holiday edition of Heifer International's catalog.

Officially, we have called a truce, but in war, can you really trust anyone? In the spirit of Halloween, I leave you with the following Harry Potter quote:

"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."


Tina said...

Sheesh, I haven't read your stuff in a while. took me a bit to catch up but you never fail to make me laugh, snort, and squeek all at the same time. Now thats a talent....yours and mine.

Christie said...

When I was in high school, Dan used to fill out all the Army recruiter forms, and I'd have people calling, wanting to talk about my application to join the army. They'd send me t-shirts, catalogs, the works.

He finally quit when one of them actually showed up at my door when we were living in Minnesota.

I've always thought that was an excellent form of revenge. You know, should you ever need it.

Diane said...

Is the Heifer catalog from Tennessee? Looks like home. But it's ok if you don't sign me up...even though it is the special 2008 holiday edition.

Why is it we find out about the craziest things you do from your blog. You must be related to your father. I'd never do such things.

dede said...

Where do I even start...

In my defense, you were the one that initiated the war. I still get the trip planner updates from hotwire deals. The best part is that they are always for rental cars or hotels in hawaii and are not of any interest to me. I on the other hand so carefully picked what you would be sent based on your interests/borderline obsession.

I do have to admit that the second time you did get something right when you sent me fabulous furs. That was something that I could really appreciate thanks to Phyllis Neffler.

I am just glad that we called a truce before the idea of signing me up for the army was presented to you. But I wouldn't mind combining forces to get someone else with that...

Robyn said...

So are you implying that you don't know where Dede keeps her brain? Ha ha. You are so funny!

Kimberly said...

Call me lame, but I actually like getting catalogs in the mail...I think they are fun to look through. You guys are so funny!

Becky Glover said...

I hate catalogs...because I look through them and decide I'm going to buy a few things and then I put them down...shuffle them out of the way, put them on the table, move them to the other table...you see where this is heading. Eventually I get so sick of looking at them that I just throw them away. So they're a colossal waste of time for me:) I would rather just go to the store and get what i need not waste time on paper. Your a riot- seriously I love reading your blog, your sense of humor is awesome. Again I ask...why aren't you married yet??