09 October 2008

Rivers, My Cosmic Twin

Rivers Cuomo and I are now more alike than ever. Cosmic twins, even!

When I was 18, I noticed a stark difference in my height when I shifted my weight from my right leg to my left. Curious about why, I went to the doctor, where I officially discovered that my left leg is 7 millimeters shorter than my right.

Rivers Cuomo, as he tells in the following video, found out when he was 12 that he had a similar condition.





Coincidence? I don't think so.

What's more?

In "Pork and Beans," one of Weezer's most recent hits, he said the following:

"They say I need some Rogaine to put in my hair."

The reason behind the line was confirmed at the Weezer concert on Tuesday night.





A few months ago, I was told similarly. Jenny, the Asian that cuts my hair, told me that "I need[ed] some [Nioxin] to put in my hair."





If only I had listened to the rest of my cosmic twin's "Pork and Beans" lyrics. The chorus goes:

I'mma do the things that I wanna do, I ain't got a thing to prove to you. I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans, excuse my manners if I make a scene. I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like. I'm fine and dandy with the me inside. One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink. I don't give a hoot about what you think.

Those are words to live by, especially when the Asian that cuts your hair tells you you're going bald and instigates a quarter-life crisis.

Thanks, cosmic twin Rivers.

3 comments:

Diane said...

So is your first name really Rivers? Is that what the R. represents? Rivers Michael...hmmm... Have you gotten over your quarter-life crisis? I think my hair looks the exact same way, and I'm not bald...yet! I think your picture in the previous post with Weezer (where you stick your head in the picture) actually looks like your body. Funny! You do have a way of keeping things real. Guess that's what keeps us all tuning in for the next post.

Robyn said...

That's pretty funny. You have so much dang hair, I can't imagine you ever going bald. Gray, yes, but bald, no. Thanks for enlightening us on you and your cosmic twin. Yay for Rivers and Weezer!

Kimberly said...

This relationship keeps getting stranger and stranger. I think his balding spot looks much worse than yours. I don't even think your exists! Did Rivers actually say "tickled pink"? Maybe he is my cosmic twin brother...ha ha!