12 July 2008

Cheap Trick, Heart, and Journey

40-somethings and has-beens of the world, unite!

Anytime, there's a group performing that had its day in the sun 20 years ago, you know the crowd's gonna be great for people watching.

I first learned this in high school when my friend Katie Neuens won tickets to a Simple Minds concert. Don't know who they are? Neither did we.

Here they are before I was born...

We were probably 17 at the time. The minute we walked in the door, we realized that we were at least 20 years younger than the rest of the crowd. We stayed through the one song we knew, "Don't You Forget About Me," and then went to Denny's to discuss how great the crowd was to watch.

That night we learned Simple Minds' signature dance move. In case you're preparing for the next Simple Minds tour, here's how to do the dance. Just pretend you're lassoing a cow without a rope. Now do it incessantly through the whole show. That's it!

The "old band, good crowd watching" principle was reiterated when I saw Cheap Trick perform at a taping of the Craig Kilborn Show.

I haven't seen that many black and white checkers since.

Not even tonight.

We actually missed Cheap Trick. They performed while we were stuck for almost two hours driving the five miles between the offramp and the amphitheater.

We made it in time for Heart, though.

"What about love..."


"Magic man..."

Heart was good. Journey followed.

Since we didn't know we missed the first band, we thought Journey was Cheap Trick. After a few songs, we realized that Arnel Pineda was the new Stephen Ray Perry, that both those guys look nothing like Robin Zander, and that the band performing was in fact Journey (I didn't know any of those names until right now. Thanks, Google.)

"Don't stop believin'..."


"Any way you want it..."

"Open arms..."

"Wheel in the sky..."

The songs that we knew were great, but the crowd alone was worth the money.

Some highlights:

Can you say "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk?"

I was discretely aiming for the woman in the white tank top on the far left. Be glad you can't read the four-letter word on the front of her shirt.

Here's a good shot of her from the front. The first line on her shirt informs readers to keep their hands off. The second line tells you she's taken. Boy, I'm glad someone's already claimed her. I bet he bought her that shirt, too.

What a view we had right in front of us. They left midway through the show to "make out" on the hood of their car and wait for their equally trashy kids.

The woman could hardly contain her excitement. The man, on the other hand...

Way too much booty for one night. Her theme song is that new one, "I Kissed a Girl." So trashy, I mean catchy.

It was great walking up to my car to find the woman on the right relieving herself. When she saw us, she awkwardly worked her pants up, continued relieving herself, and then stumbled up the hill. It took her and her equally drunk friend a minute or two to make it to the top. Good thing they were too drunk to care about the pictures we were snapping.

I sure don't miss the 80s as much as tonight's crowd does. In 20 years, though, I'll really miss the 90s and this hard-to-name decade (the 10s?). I can only hope to make a spectacle of myself at some Vampire Weekend or Weezer show.


ritchie alter said...

I have never laughed so hard at 730 in the morning. Your observations with pictures did it. I make a fool of myself with Arnel Pineda but this tops it.

Christie said...

Some excellent sly blogger badonkadonk photos. Except how is it possible that you didn't know any of those bands? Journey is the BOMB! How was the new Steve Parry?

Michael said...

Sounds like I've got a cousin with a case of Journey envy. Arnel Pineda was very spry compared to the other members of the band, but his voice is very close to Steve Perry's.

dede said...

I love it...totally worth staying up until all hours of the night to complete. I could not contain the laughter when reading all the picture captions. Hands down one of the best nights ever!

dede said...

ps the two women climbing the hill made me laugh the hardedst!

Alinde said...

Oh my heck! (smile) How funny - Many I feel OLD, I miss the 80's music, and couldn't stand the 90's. I also loved Journey, but that group of people....YIKES, to think that I could have been one of those country bupkins, though I'm fortunate that i wouldn't have been one of the crazies that you photographed....that was so funny, and I thought eew, when I saw the old man grabbing that lady's badunkadunk....(smile) aha ha ha,

Anyhow awesome post Michael.

Robyn said...

What about Heart's song, "Alone"? That one has to be one of my favorites. And I must never talk to you anymore because I had no idea you were going to that concert! Looks like fun! Nice picture capturing!

Robyn said...

And I heard that "I Kissed A Girl" song on So You Think You Can Dance the other night...sick!

Diane said...

Dad changed the radio station and the song playing was "I Kissed A Girl". He didn't reach over and change it either...until I started singing the lyrics to him.

I am actually surprised that you know the names of all those bands, let alone that you went to a concert!

Diane said...

P.S. Note to self...Never allow Michael to stand behind me with his camera!

Tina said...

YOU ARE HILARIOUS. I wish I could have had you comentating at the Def Leppard/Styx concert Paul and I went to last summer. It was more fun to watch the idiots, oh, I mean interesting people. There was so much drinking and loud obnoxious people. Fun entertainment. The music was ok. Usana Amphatheater's acoustics are not the best. I thought I was going to love Def leppard in concert but the truth is...they CANT sing. Its amazing what technology can do. But I am still a loyal fan and love them. I know, sick. And I'm with your mom. I'm so glad you aren't standing behind me at a concert.

Tina said...

Oh, Journey, Chicago, Heart. It brings back some great memories!!! LOVE the 80's.

Kimberly said...

Okay, I totally had a comment here two days ago. I don't know what happened to it. This post made me laugh so hard! Your captions and humor make it so hilarious! Next time I go to a concert, you're coming along...you would make the event even more exciting!