01 February 2009

Snow-Indian vs. Snow-beast

It's winter, and snowmen have become fairly prevalent in Provo. The snow-made creatures are populating front yards, common areas, median strips, and the occasional empty lot.

One of my favorite snowmen is built on campus every year. As soon as the first big storm rolls in, some group of people (or gnomes, I'm not quite sure) heads up to campus and turns our beloved American Indian statue into a giant snowman.

Like most snowmen, the Indian snowman evokes nothing but good feelings in my heart. (I think he's from a friendly tribe.)

I wish I could say the same about this thing.

From his sunken eyes to his cat ears, I hate everything about this snowman.

I hate that I have to drive by him every time I go down 700 East.

I hate that he refuses to melt, no matter how warm it gets.

I hate that he has a human nose.

I hate his asymmetrical whiskers.

I hate that he has a "Y" on his chest.

I hate that he somewhat resembles Cosmo.

I could go on.

Who knew that I could feel this way about a snowman? Then again, this is no ordinary snowman..cat...mascot...BEAST.

Though I have yet to ski this season and there's a lot of sledding and snowball throwing that could provide some good entertainment, I am praying for winter's end for no other reason than the destruction of Provo's biggest eyesore, the ugly snow-thing.

He will forever haunt my dreams.


Julie Mack said...

That thing really is scary and ugly. If I was there with you, I would go knock it over in the night. You could put red food coloring everywhere so they thought that it was a U of U fan instead of just some reasonable BYU fans who had to put an end to the terror and hideousness that is the wannabe cougar snowman. Best of luck my friend.

Shirley Hale said...

LOL I don't drive on 700 East very often. What north is that thing at? It definitely looks like someone was trying to make a Cosmo snowman. I wonder what Cosmo thinks of it. If I were him, I would destroy it in the middle of the night. Maybe when you go by it you can throw some salt on it. A little bit everyday and it will melt faster. It may be an evil suggestion, but something to think about. :)

Diane said...

Converting the Indian into a snowman is pretty clever, but who in the world thinks a snow gremlin is cool. A little toss of salt daily is a good suggestion....unless of course its creators would get upset about it. You never know what twisted mind thought this one up.

Lyenna said...

That thing is spooky. It's like something you'd find in one of those box office scary movies. The kind that come alive and go after you in your sleep. I don't know Michael. . .you better sleep with one eye open.

Lyenna said...

Oh I do like the big snowman though very clever.

Robyn said...

That's pretty funny. You just hate it because it wasn't YOUR idea first. Ha ha. Weren't we going to go skiing sometime? What happened to that plan?

Kimberly said...

That thing is HUGE! You're so funny. I was sad when our little, tiny snowman melted...well, actually, Luke pushed him over and kicked him to shreds. Poor snowman!

SAC said...

Yo. I also hate that thing passionately and never realized it was supposed to be comsmo. Thanks for enlightening me.